Every Sunday in Washington, D.C., a group of gay men in their thirties meet to play the wildly popular fantasy role-playing game Dungeons and Dragons. They refer to themselves jokingly as “the hottest gay gamers in Washington, D.C.” In the game, invented in 1974 by Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson (who died in April) players assume character identities and interact with each other, discussing their actions and interactions with other characters. The players create a story, and achieve experience points which make them more powerful. D&D (as it’s popularly abbreviated) and the people who play it are routinely made the butt of jokes in high school and popular media. I talked with the group during one of their weekly sessions.

BUTT: Can you tell me how and when the group began?
Jim: This group began when I moved to D.C. back in 1997, and I met Brian through AOL chat rooms. I don’t know how the subject came up, I think it was just in his profile on AOL. And then Jon, how did you learn about this group?
Jon: You put an ad in the sci-fi club and Gary and I responded.

So you guys were all into D&D as kids?
Jim: Yeah, I think so.
Brian: Yes, I met my first boyfriend in high school through D&D.

What do you think drew you to D&D?
Brian: I think I always liked science fiction, being a gay person, I felt like I was looking for alternatives to the mainstream. So I came to D&D through science fiction.

Is that common? I hear that a lot – that there’s some kind of a connection between gays and SF?
Jon: I don’t know some people would disagree. But we all do like sci-fi.
Sean: I like sci-fi and it has nothing to do with my being gay. My penis doesn’t have anything to do with my love of sci-fi.
Mark: I think a lot of it has to do with that we are pretty imaginative people, I think the game in general attracts more imaginative people.

So what’s the story that’s taking place in the game you’re playing now? Where are you at? What’s the quest?
Mark: We actually just started last week with a new campaign. Jim was the dungeon master before, and now I’m taking over. So this is my first go at it, and we’re just starting out so the other players are all level one, essentially in diapers, sorting out their characters. We’re getting going and coming to a town that’s being overrun by these lizard-like monsters called kobolds. And there are some deeper mysteries going on, big celestial type mysteries that I can’t really talk too much about because it would give it away for the other players.

What are your characters in this game?
Jim: I have a gnoll warlock named Gnarla, her nickname is Bayonce Gnoll. A gnoll warlock is a hyena-headed monster wielding infernal powers.
Sean W.: I have an eladrin wizard named Nishala.
Brian: I’m currently playing an eladrin ranger and his name is Anrreg.
Sean C: I’ve been playing as a dwarf priest named Dhorin.
Tim: My character is a goliath warden named Akbar.
Jon: My character is a gnome avenger and his name is Gno Gname.
Mark: And I am the dungeon master today, so that means I’m in charge. I am God.

Now do you guys have gay characters in the game?
Sean C: My character is gay in the game, it doesn’t come up a lot-
Jim: I tend to play tough women. I don’t know why, but they always tend to be strong women.
Sean W: I haven’t really thought that far out, it’s still too new a game. All of our characters are young and exploring ourselves.
Brian: But we have had a lot of gay characters in previous campaigns. Most of our characters like men, whether they’re male or female.

Do any of your characters in the game have gay sex?
Jon: I have sex all the time.
Brian: He has sex with things that aren’t human.
Jon: I had a character, who was a half-giant and she met a hill-giant, and they lived happily ever after and had kids. But she wasn’t gay.

Where do you meet up and play? Do you always go to one of your houses or do you swap around?
We usually play at the house of the person with the biggest available table space, but sometimes round robin to other people’s houses.  Some of us are kind of sloppy with the snacks and crumbs so it helps to share the mess.

What’s the vibe like during your sessions? Do you listen to music while you play? Is it kinda like a guys poker night with beer and pizza?
As an easily distracted bunch, we try to minimize distractions like music or television.  We are our own entertainment.  Most of the time we end up eating awful junk food, and some of us have to drink a cocktail depending on how spazzy the other players are.

I read on your blog, Jim, that while you’re all out as gay, not all of you are out as D&D gamers?
Sean: Our friend Charlie, who’s not here, is a huge geek but he tries to keep it a secret from his other friends and gets mad if we tell anyone. He’s completely out as a gay man, but completely closeted as a geek.
Jim: It’s not exactly the first thing that comes out when I go on a date. It takes some adjusting to.
Brian: I think we’re sort of internal geeks but if you saw us on the street you most likely wouldn’t say “Ha, ha, ha, those guys probably play D&D.” We all work out. We all know how to dress. We all date regularly, all that sort of stuff.

Have there been any group romances or hook-ups?
Jim: Even when I was in high school and I saw a straight hook-up in D&D it always ended in disaster. No matter what. So I try to have a rule don’t hook up or at least keep it on the down-low because there’s drama.
Sean: It’s like dating where you work, it doesn’t really work out that well. If the guy happens to be the Dungeon Master, there’s clear infractions of favoritism. That’s why we try to avoid that.

But Brian, you said before you met your first boyfriend through D&D?
Brian: Yeah, he was a wrestler and into Dungeons and Dragons too. Good times. Good times. He put the moves on me during a game and the other guys didn’t notice.

How did he do that?
Brian: He passed me a note across the table, which isn’t that unusual in D&D, and the note said “Look under the table.” I was totally clueless, and so I look under the table, and he’s wearing sweatpants and they’re pulled down and his dick was out. So I shot back up from under the table, I’m turning beet red, but I’m also very turned on. I had no idea he was attracted to other men, so then I shot him a note back across the table that said you know, “Now you look under the table.” And so I reciprocated. And then he was like “Oh you’re really hard.” And I was like “Yeah…” So then we went to my room because we were playing in my house and we were going to “look for more pencils.” That’s where it all started. From there it was kind of a real high school, hush-hush kind of thing.

But how did you pass all these notes across the table and pull your dicks out without anybody noticing?
Brian: Well you know how high school boys are we were both a little crazy.

You know since there’s this common stereotype, or rather, people like to make fun of geeks for being into D&D, but do you guys feel somehow like by keeping it going that you’re doing something a little bit outside the gay norm?
Jim: It seems more accepting these days. I see gays reading comic books, or admitting that they’re going to a comic book convention on Facebook or something like that. Like many aspects of gay life we’re more free to explore things outside the traditional canon of gay life.
Brian: The bottom line is that it’s a great excuse for us to come together, and we’re friends and we socialize and eat, and it’s sort of like the classic poker game. It’s not so much about the poker as it is about the fellowship. It is a good way to socialize, and you know obviously over the years, you have boyfriends and you have to come out to them as being a geek, and some of them have their own geek things like they’re into comics or horror movies or something like that. Everybody has their own geek flavor and you both have to come out about it. I’ve had boyfriends who’ve said to me as I’ve left to play D&D, “Good luck, I hope you win!” And it’s sort of funny because there’s no real winner. But they’re just being supportive, and it’s fun. Everybody’s got their own thing.

To follow the activities of the DC D&D gang, check out Jim’s blog

Interview by Adam Baran
Photos by Brian V. Rowe