New correspondent Grant Singer takes us inside the sex lives of the rich and artistic…
Art Basel Miami. For the gay and fearless, it can only mean one thing: regret. It’s not that I’m ashamed of the things I’ve done—even though I am—it’s more that I can only remember a fraction of the things I’m ashamed of. Thankfully, I had a camera to document my pilgrimage to what felt like hell—close your eyes and envision being trapped in a sauna for five days—as I can only somewhat piece together these moments of mostly underwhelming art and parties much too straight. In fact, the only real cruising took place at a gay bar called Twist – you know you’re in trouble when you have to settle for something called Twist.
It all began when some friends took me to a party where I ultimately met a very well-known German artist. Aside from the fact he was three times my age—and weight—there was something very seductive about being force-fed bumps, champagne, and chocolate. The German artist asked me if I wanted to come to his hotel room for a nightcap, and even though my vision was blurred—in this case that was a good thing—it became increasingly clear I didn’t have a choice. Once I finished raiding his mini-bar, it was apparent that there was an expectation of sex in return for his generosity throughout the evening. Fortunately for me, we had the same turn-on: watching me jerk-off. I made him watch from the other side of the room because it’s hard to concentrate when someone’s talking dirty to you in German. I finally came and left.
The next evening began with the platonic-love-of-my-life Brian Kish escorting me from party to party including a dinner thrown by the genius Shamim Momin, the only woman I’d ever contemplate fucking…from behind. It was there I met my next conquest: a young British artist who lives in Berlin. We walked outside The Raleigh Hotel, sat down at a crowded table, and quickly took our relationship to the next level. He wasted no time shoving his hand down my pants, jerking me off in front of an oblivious crowd. And yet I was bored. I took out my phone and googled him just to make sure I was in good hands. There I was, looking at his work, looking at him, looking at his work, looking at him. I’m not sure which was worse. I politely excused myself to the little boy’s room. Once up, I quickly fled the hotel and met some friends at Le Baron. And who do I run into within moments of arriving? Yes. The German artist. You see, sometimes an abundance of drugs and alcohol can compensate for physical attraction. It’s this idea that led me to repeat my ’solo exhibition’ in his hotel room later that evening.
As hard as it is to believe, there was actually some art happening. And while the fair as a whole was less than exemplary, there were some highlights: Stephen G. Rhodes at Overduin & Kite, Jedediah Caesar and Cady Noland at D’Amelio Terras, Dan Attoe at Peres Projects, Gonzalo Lebrija at I-20, Paul Pfeiffer at (I can’t remember), Francesco Clemente at Deitch, and Shamim Momin’s LAND institution.
But what really stole the show was an intimate Patti Smith performance organized by the Robert Miller Gallery in an empty warehouse about an hour outside the city. For a hundred very lucky guests (Calvin Klein showed up two hours late to the dinner he was hosting in order to be there), Smith played songs, read poetry, sang Happy Birthday to Jean-Luc Godard, and told stories about life in New York with Robert Mapplethorpe. She even sang a song in Bob Dylan’s voice about Bob Dylan. It was all very surreal, and felt the most honest out of everything I’d seen in those few days. And while my time spent in Miami was equally divided between looking at art and deviant sexual encounters, in the end, what’s left is this feeling of innocence—knowing that I didn’t compromise my morals. Because I have none.
Here are some pictures I don’t remember taking. Enjoy.
Paul Sepuya and friends.
Brian Kish in front of a David Benjamin Sherry photo at It Ain’t Fair.
Brendan Fowler at the LAND party.
Patti Smith – killin’ it.
An early Mapplethorpe at the Robert Miller booth.
Cady Noland at D’Amelio Terras.
The great Norman Rosenthal.
Posted by Adam on Wednesday, December 16, 2009 |
nailsbyasians added on January 12, 2010 :
i agree with bruno,
i left miami after 7 years and miss it.
the non-locals do non-local things and dont find the weird nooks and crannies for basel. didnt go this year, but lastyear was insane-fest.
i should have took a picture of people taking pictures of lou reed taking a picture that one time.
miami blogger MiamiBro is an experienced one. check out this bitch during basel:
http://miamibro.blogspot.com/2009/12/bro-i-got-press-pass-bro.html
bitch took a picture of james franco and didnt realize it:
http://miamibro.blogspot.com/2009/12/scoping-out-sh-t-bro.html
and an entertaining semi-lame but funny chocolate dick:
http://miamibro.blogspot.com/2009/12/no-nothing-nada.html
brett added on January 11, 2010 :
I’d say going to a bar called “Twist” is the least pathetic experience recounted here.
bruno added on January 10, 2010 :
TOP TIPS FOR BASEL 2010! / What You Missed During Basel 2009!
1. BEFRIEND SOME GAY MIAMI ARTISTS BEFORE YOU COME! (hanging out with the usual NYC suspects, you will ultimately spend a week in Miami talking about NEW YORK) BORING!
2. You Obviously didn’t go to AtelierMatu, the gallery/studio space of Miami Artist Matu Croney at 924 Lincoln Road and see his painstakingly detailed psychedelic homo-erotic tapestry sized drawings.
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2621/3935497351_f5bbebf37d.jpg
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3466/3935518089_2d2afe5858_b.jpg
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2425/3935495979_e1233dbe8f.jpg
3. Or Check out Victor Payares trippy paintings, another hot young Miami Artists, represented by Lyle O’Reitzel Gallery.
http://images.artnet.com/artwork_images_424006732_531269_victor-payares.jpg
http://images.artnet.com/artwork_images_424006732_505948_victor-payares.jpg
http://images.artnet.com/artwork_images_424006732_534958_victor-payares.jpg
4. OR GO TO The Infamous JAMBOREE LOUNGE instead of TWIST, where the real CUBAN PAPIS go to get down and off!
5.There Was Plenty Of Gay Decadence, at the Villa Valentino Party in the Grove.
p.s. BUTT MAGAZINE, next year get a MIAMI LOCAL to correspond on Basel, and I guarantee you will get a much more insightful correspondence.
x
L. Greenspan added on January 5, 2010 :
As a Studio 54 “baby” who constantly laments the loss of the NY scene, it does not surprise me to hear these luminaries (especially Calvin who was right there with me) lament the current state of affairs that should be fabulous but are not.
Can we really blame Giuliani (that F-ck) for the boringness of Art Basel?
Who knows. People are stressed and uptight. The first thing to go when stressed is one’s “charm”. See? I told ya things suck!
Paul added on December 25, 2009 :
amazing. more please.
Queer Heaven added on December 21, 2009 :
I gotta agree, the parties were so dull and the art was worse. As for sex….. ??
bob smith added on December 20, 2009 :
(f)art
Fank added on December 19, 2009 :
I’m with Masood. I ♥ paul sepuya too. And thought the piece was hilarious. Thanks.
Walter R. added on December 19, 2009 :
so sexciting!
PerroCaliente added on December 18, 2009 :
Dull.
mallory tenneson added on December 18, 2009 :
i love paul sepuya’s friends.
Diana von C added on December 17, 2009 :
I am so proud that we’re gayting Grant.
Brian R. added on December 17, 2009 :
“the only woman I’d ever contemplate fucking…from behind. ”
dying!!!!
masood added on December 17, 2009 :
♥ paul sepuya.
Larry added on December 17, 2009 :
Hey Grant you forgot to mention the details of “Twist” – the biggest gay theme bar in the South! I think they even had a ‘mid nineties’ room.
ann tracy added on December 17, 2009 :
too funny…. good thing I didn’t go ;~D
gabriel added on December 17, 2009 :
Amazingly funny, I hope you go and cover something like any city fashion week or any film festival or even a tupperware convention.
Mon added on December 17, 2009 :
This was outrageous! Would love to hear his take on the NYC art scene.
NF added on December 16, 2009 :
love the photos
zack added on December 16, 2009 :
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one bored by the mediocre art and lack of side fun – I’m already recruiting for a ‘wing man’ for next time so that at least if we’re not satisfied, we won’t be bored.
Sam added on December 16, 2009 :
It’s nice to see someone tell it like it is.
timmy added on December 16, 2009 :
i wish you were this slutty when i met you in berlin, granty!
love you forever….
nola added on December 16, 2009 :
Brilliant
Olivia added on December 16, 2009 :
this writer is out of control. i’m still laughing. more please
David added on December 16, 2009 :
this is fucking hilarious
franco d. added on December 16, 2009 :
this makes one want to enroll in typing school!
XXX added on December 16, 2009 :
this makes one want to be there!