Drew

Seth: One of the things that I found really interesting when we were first talking is your interest in pooping and the fact that you readily admitted it, which was unexpected but really fascinating because, while initially one might think of a Cleveland Steamer or something to that effect, your interest, at least in my experience, is fairly unique.
Drew: Well, I mean, first of all it isn’t that unique in the sense that there are a lot of online communities that are devoted to this. But I guess while there are a lot of people who have scat fetishes, I don’t really go all out as I’m not into eating it, and I don’t want to really have it all over me. I have talked to people who are more in my camp as far as they’re really just turned on by the process of shitting, and the shelf life of the shit is gone, losing its value, once it leaves the asshole.
How did you first discover your interest in it?
I remember getting hard in 2nd and 3rd grade in restrooms with other little 2nd and 3rd graders grunting and stuff kind of theatrically, and I never really paired that with an idea that that turns me on sexually or even that I liked boys. It was just that was kind of a physiological response.
Well it’s such an intensely intimate act, and I think, especially when one’s young, any bit of extreme intimacy like being naked around someone, changing clothes for swimming or something, I can speak for myself and say I would get erections in those sorts of situations, so this makes sense too.
It’s like one of those things that goes from being a child where everyone has probably seen you poop or something like that, but becoming an adult means coming to a point where no one will ever see you shit, unless you’re a married couple or something like that. And even then, a shit in the way I’m talking about is watching an asshole open up and seeing shit coming out of it. It’s pretty rare that a person allows someone to see that and vice versa.
Yeah, you might let someone cum on you before you’d do that.
Right.
So how has this manifested itself in your sexual life?
Well, it hasn’t manifested itself very often. I mean I have met up with guys. Actually the last guy I dated for a couple of months met me from a Craigslist post I had, and it was basically ‘Looking for a guy to take a shit with. We’ll watch each other shit and then jerk off.’ It wasn’t anything like ‘I want to have shit sex’ or things like that, but he was so interested in that idea that someone would post it that he contacted me. And this sounds unbelievable, but we met up, he happened to be cute, and we dated for a couple of months. The funny thing is, he wouldn’t even pee in front of me.
So you didn’t actually shit together, but you did meet and date?
Right, and it’s like almost all of the guys I date are aware of this interest, and I rarely explore it with them. In fact, they rarely will even shit in front of me.
Yeah, when you were telling me about it, I was really intrigued by it I guess intellectually, but I wasn’t sure it was something that I’d ever do.
And you’re like a lot of other people. That curiosity helps me feel a little like less of a freak but at the same time it’s kind of frustrating. I almost would prefer you say, ‘Oh that’s really gross’ than you want to experiment or pretend like you would and then not do it. I’ve had a lot of people be like ‘Well you’re hot and I’d be curious to experiment’ but at the same time I don’t really want to be someone’s initiation into the world of scat.
Right, ideally you would find someone who was already interested in it.
Yes, but then there are guys I meet who are really into it, and they want me to go in their mouth and that just doesn’t appeal to me, you know?
Well when it goes that far my honest first impulse is to be really grossed out, but when it’s on your level, I’m more just curious.
Yeah, and it’s funny, I think people who tend to be more open and more curious tend to be smarter to be honest. And it’s pretty well known, or it’s been known that I have this interest, even to more loose friends of mine, and it’s no big deal. In fact someone in my college town said, ‘Drew has this ‘thinking man’s fetish” which is a term I coined for it because a lot of guys I was phoning and taking dumps with on the phone and jacking off with, it turns out they’re law students, or they’re medical students. At least the younger guys. The older guys always seemed to be old trolls, and that’s not… I like smarter, younger guys who tend to have this interest.
And it makes sense because it combines two things that do feel really good, so it almost seems logical in a sense.
Oh I know, and it’s amazing how many bottoms out there, and I’m versatile, but I love and can appreciate it, how guys will bottom and essentially it involves the same stuff I’m interested in, but they will not admit to the fact that they enjoy taking a shit.
I know a lot of people who feel weird taking a shit at a friend’s house.
And we’re gay and supposedly at the forefront of human sexuality but it’s straight guys who seem to be more comfortable doing this. It’s like a performance act, and it’s hot when guys who are straight I know are like grunting theatrically. It’s really erotic. It’s really no different than a guy who’s moaning while jacking off, and I’ve fantasized about it in a stall next to a guy many times.
Yeah, you could probably record the sound of someone moaning when ejaculating or groaning while taking a shit and divorced from context I imagine it would be really hard to separate them and identify which is which.
Absolutely, and I wish more gay guys would do it. Especially like more femme gay guys. I think it would be so hot to imagine them moaning like that in this really awkward act of shitting. I’ve seen a therapist about this, and not because I think it’s disordered or a problem or anything, but just to understand it. But I’ve had a psychoanalyst describe it as producing this prize. Like to little kids it’s the ultimate prize to produce this thing right there, and it’s comparable to what you work for in life and having an outcome that you can’t really control, so he equated this to things going on in my life now, and preparation for certain next steps in my life, and the uncontrollable aspects of that, and the ways that shitting reduced anxiety.
Well that makes sense because it is a feeling of release and relaxation after it’s over.
Yeah there’s this anxiety of, ‘I have to shit’ and then thinking, ‘where am I going to go?’ There’s a little bit of excitement, and you find some place to release this prize and you feel great, and sometimes you even want to show it off to your friends if you could. I can’t tell you how many friends send me pictures of their shit. Even though it doesn’t sexually interest me, they know I have this fetish and it’s like nodding to me I guess.

To read more from interviewer Seth Persons, check out his queer Birmingham blog, Birminghomo.