By Miguel Molina
His apartment was posh and he looked like a fairly vanilla guy. Little did I know my entire fist would be up his ass thirty minutes later. I was living in Madrid at the time, and I didn’t know I would have to return on vacation to my small, Catholic, bigoted country to discover one of the sexual practices that for me defines homosexuality more than any other. I had met him at the theater a few days before our first (and only) time having sex, and he was quiet, shy and sexy. He had a cute bubble butt to boot. Even though I first liked his boyfriend more, he was the one who gave me his phone number, so I had to oblige and take what the world gave me. Thank God I did.
We arranged a sexdate a few days later. We got into the sex part quite fast, after a bit of unimportant chattering. After all, his boyfriend would return from work in an hour and I had a family dinner to attend to. I don’t remember us talking about it, or him asking me clearly to do it. It just flowed naturally, like I guess all sexual fetishes should. I started fingering him, adding one finger after another. Finally I started going wider and wider, until I was threading the dreaded knuckle barrier, the holy threshold of fisting. I admit I was afraid. But then he reassured me with a soft, breathy ‘it’s okay’. Suddenly, I was all in.
It was a pulsing, dark feeling. I swear I felt the beating of his heart, the speed of his breathing, the way his sphincter fought fruitlessly, or gave in against/to my arm. It felt wet, filled with textures and completely new. It was the most exciting thing I had ever done. I was hooked. I just couldn’t believe that was possible. For me, it was like gay science fiction.
I returned to Madrid to my then-boyfriend with a whole new perspective of sex. He was the first to discover my very angry approach to bottom-fisting. He pushed really hard, moaned, got a huge hard-on and did his best. I looked back at his face and shouted orders at him. Do it. He looked at me saying it just wasn’t possible. I shouted back to not be a pussy and push harder. He did. He got all red in the face. I could feel his hand pushing my limits. At first he could never put his whole hand in and each time we tried, we ended up drenched in sweat, barely with the energy to jerk-off, and fell asleep.
After a few months and extrenous insistence, fisting became commonplace. My very power bottom self was really happy about it. I even bought a hand-shaped dildo, weird and expensive, to get me through the times when a human hand wasn’t available. There’s something different about how a hand feels: you feel even more submissive, more adventurous. Of course it’s painful, and sometimes that’s the whole point. There’s a moment you feel you are going too far, and the adrenaline rush of being on the edge is what gets you off. Even more exciting is seeing the wonder in the face of the one doing the fisting: you are giving him complete control, you give him power, but yours is even greater, you are the one with the real talent. I’m not saying being the top fister doesn’t require care and guts. But being able to handle an entire hand up your ass is a whole different story. It’s the most perfect combination of physical and emotional lust and pain. In fisting, they go hand in hand.
As it turns out, though, there is a flip side to this fisting thing: when you share your fetish with some people, they label you as immoral, dirty, and extreme. And I’m talking about gay men. It turns you into the butt, no pun intended, of many jokes, especially the ones about being overly ‘open’ to anything. I guess there’s still room for sexual discrimination, even inside the gay community. But that also means you are still somewhat outside of the norm, you’re not one of those queers aching to be more like straight people. It feels good to not be pining to be inside a system that doesn’t welcome you.
And hey, it’s also a great way to find out if you’re sexually compatible with someone. I always bring fisting up to the table on my first fuck dates; that way if he likes it, I might see him again. If he doesn’t, I go ahead and delete his number from my phone. And I have found it to be a fairly foolproof, fun, effective system.
It’s good to have that upper hand.
Posted by Adam on Tuesday, March 16, 2010 |
Bull added on April 12, 2010 :
Dear epic,
Thanks for that eloquent response. I have a feeling I’m going to live a lot longer than you because of my narrow mind and ass. Have loads of fun with your unruly anus and multiple STDs.
epic added on April 2, 2010 :
dear bull stfu…your mind and ass is too narrow
Bull added on March 25, 2010 :
The nonchalant manner in which you deal with infidelity is frightening and sad in my opinion. Maybe I’m just too sensitive or too naive but I had a hard time focusing on the rest of the article after reading about your rushed attempt to have sex before the arrival of his boyfriend. I’m not against open relationships but unabashed dishonesty and betrayal is something I cannot buy into. That’s not exciting to someone like me, in fact, it’s actually kind of heartbreaking. And to those who would say I’m discriminating against my own kind, fuck you. I have every right to express what I think is healthy and unhealthy in a relationship without being labeled as an enemy within. Fucking ridiculous. Whether you be gay or straight, cheating is not indicative of a healthy relationship and there is a big difference between being open and cheating. Sorry.
Jay added on March 24, 2010 :
Yawn… Most unerotic, uninteresting crap I have ever read… If you want a prolapse then go for it, just don’t pretend you’re an expert and bore anyone else with it.
ty added on March 20, 2010 :
I don’t understand the mindset or selfishness as to want to go to such an extreme to make someone like you, or please your fleeting addiction. I see it as a foil to intimacy, rendering male gays as asundeserving of respect in the eyes of the world.
Matthew added on March 18, 2010 :
Coincidentally, at 26 I was fisted for the first time this weekend, in a drunken, heat-of-the-moment exchange. It was incredibly hot, so much that I blew without even touching myself; and while nursing my bum a little the next day I had time to consider what about the experience of fisting that I thought would be hot, versus what actually was hot. I’d always thought that the pleasure of fisting would derive from having your ass stretched and filled to capacity, of being able to look down and see someone’s forearm where it shouldn’t really be. I suppose this was a part of it, BUT, the real arousal I found was the feeling of almost having your body keel from side to side, of absolute POWER stuck right up your ass, and as a result having your ENTIRE prostate massaged at the same time. Kindof makes me see a piston engine in new light, and makes fucking seem like stirring sugar in a tea cup.
Gerson added on March 17, 2010 :
ouch
Danny added on March 17, 2010 :
Recently this last summer while on sabbatical, I took my time and managed to take my hand to wrist. It was not about pain, but more about deep relaxation. Quite zen and now one of my favorite things. I can’t wait to share it with the man I love when he comes along. Thanks everyone for sharing, even the ones that are afraid and inside a box. It does show discrimination within the gay community.
Terry R added on March 17, 2010 :
It’s definitely hot–I did it to someone once almost accidentally and it provide and incredible rush.
That said, fistees’ bungholes usually turn into vaginas eventually…but hey no judgment.
However, as Miguel’s last paragraph so aptly illustrates, it’s unfortunate how once guys get into fetish, they tend to shut out anyone who doesn’t fit the bill.
But then I guess that’s what makes it a fetish.
Jason Kuno added on March 17, 2010 :
To Mikiki who wanted to wait till 40 to take a fist: The older you get the harder it is to break into (fisting), when you are young, you are more flexible, many teens and early 20 somethings can take a forearm or double fist much easier than I or people that start later, I’m 32 but only got into it a few years ago, but I remember when I was 16 I could almost stick my whole hand in my ass.
Greg added on March 17, 2010 :
It’s amazing this guy can fit a fist up his asshole, considering that his head is up there as well.
Rui added on March 17, 2010 :
“Why do people even pretend… That’s not a relationship. No wonder people look down on us…”
oh brother. who died and made you king of what is and isn’t a relationship. open relationships happen, and some even work well. just because it doesn’t fit in with your particular definition of relationship, doesn’t make it any less valid.
Mikiki added on March 17, 2010 :
first of all: Hey Jay, STFU you fucking bourgeois faggot. you’re the reason people look down on us, not a slutty fag who owns his shit. Jesus. Don’t you fucking dare tell someone who has a relationship structure you don’t get, or aren’t into, that their’s isn’t a relationship. Or my boyfriend’s husband will make you shit your teeth.
I’ll be busy fisting my boyfriend. His husband. The man I’m in a relationship with.
Anyway, I agree with Nico, partially because I’m his friend and I like what he has to say but also because I have a fisting btm boyfriend (see above) and it blows my mind what he’s able to take (my fist, often first thing in the morning). I have yet to take a fist though I’m sure it wouldn’t be much of a stretch as I’m pretty slutty. It’s something I’m saving, as a sexual activity/experience until my 40th birthday (I’m 31 now) so that I’ll have something to look forward to, as I’m already one hella jaded queen.
Evji108 added on March 17, 2010 :
So suddenly this dude discovers fisting and with the zeal of the newly-converted he feels angry that he feels discriminated against for his more extreme tastes in sex, but he immediately discriminates against those who do not like to fist-fuck using his “foolproof, fun, effective system”. I wish he and his asshole all the best and lots of elasticity, as long as that lasts.
dudella added on March 17, 2010 :
Seems to be a bit of a leap from “fisting this guy was really hot” to “suddenly i loved taking fists up my ass.” Speaking from experience, being a fisting top is a very different experience than being a fisting bottom. I don’t know about the “immoral” and “dirty” labels, but fisting IS extreme. Own it.
bob smith added on March 17, 2010 :
his sphincter was not fighting fruitlessly
Nico added on March 17, 2010 :
This is really well written. The part where you’re talking about how great and talented submissive bottoms are is the best.
Bruce in Tampa added on March 17, 2010 :
I love this story! I’ve only
bottom fisted twice and I completely fell in love with it
Jay added on March 17, 2010 :
All this talk of having a boyfriend yet you are half way round the world fisting god knows who who also supposedly has a ‘boyfriend’… Why do people even pretend… That’s not a relationship. No wonder people look down on us…