DEAR BUTT

Destiny from Milan, Italy writes… David answers:

5 December 2012

Dear BUTT,

Is it weird if I only like blowjobs and never do anal?

I am a bottom for sure because all I want to do is please the guy, but I really dislike putting anything up my butt. I have tried twice and it hurt so much. I felt like shitting on his cock — eww, sorry if you’re having lunch right now.

What if I meet a guy who’s totally hot — like Clark Gable hot — and he’s really into the ass thing? Should I give up my own principles and be his sex slave for one night in hopes that he will like me? I don’t want to be single forever.

Or maybe I should try to be a top? But I listen to jazz and Adele for god’s sake!

What should I do?
Destiny

P.S. Does my name sound like a hooker?

5 December 2012

Dear Destiny,

Remain calm… There are plenty of guys out there who aren’t into being penetrated. If you want to be a cocksucker for the rest of your life that’s absolutely fine. And you’ll find plenty of guys happy to lie back and let you go to town (you can expect a Private Message with my availability).

However in your case, I detect that deep down inside you’re tempted to enter the mysteriously-addictive world of ass fucking. You’ve probably watched enough XTube to see that crazed look coming over a guy’s face when he’s getting it real good, and just maybe you wonder what you’re missing.

Sorry Destiny, your name does sound like a hooker and there’s no other way around it: getting fucked up the ass hurts. Yours truly is still sore from last night’s session.

Your job is to get so turned on you push through the pain because on the other side is pleasure — serious pleasure. Get your hands on a dildo, use plenty of lube and practice, practice, practice! Maybe try practicing with a friend before moving on to strangers.

If you still feel like shitting on another man’s cock when getting fucked, please do us all a favor and douche beforehand.

Your partner in pain/pleasure,
David

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  1. Profile picture
    MAURICIO  ·  1 year ago  · 

    This was way better than the morning news!

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        DESTINY  ·  1 year ago

        AWESOME!!!

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    JORDAN  ·  1 year ago  · 

    hahhaha

  4. Profile picture
    FREEGO  ·  1 year ago  · 

    ahah brilliant reply!

  5. Profile picture
    FARAKH  ·  1 year ago  · 

    P.S. and the right and loads of lube, Liquid Silk works best….

  6. Profile picture
    FARAKH  ·  1 year ago  · 

    Poppers help a lot to start with, then you get use to it and can enjoy without them. Also the chemistry have to be right and it have to be the right guy, who knows how to go slow…..

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    VISSO  ·  1 year ago  · 

    have a couple of shots and try spending intimate moments before you bend over (cuddle, kiss, massages,..), you’ll feel more at ease and your muscles will loosen. it will still hurt but you’ll love it if it’s done right!…I , personally, always enjoy a bit of pain…

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    HENRY  ·  1 year ago  · 

    well the difficult thing about being a bottom is that you’re probably unable to have sex “anytime”. A bottom would actually feel more comfortable/enjoyable after this, errr, “preparation”, you know, spending some time in the bath. So I usually combine it with a hot bath afterwards and I would totally feel like – I think I’m ready. But like I said, sometimes it might get frustrated if you find out it’s not suitable to have sex today due to some physical conditions, well then, just turn down and wait till the next time. A forced sex always seems hot in a porn but not in the reality.

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    MORGAN J.  ·  1 year ago  · 

    OMG, so hilarious, I just almost spewed wine all over my MacBook. Yes, I can attest to a rather intimate session of mutual rimming last night and deeply desiring to please my intellectual sex partner with full on anal fornication but alas no-going. For either of us. In the end it’s not about the act of eating the cookie, just about the nourishment, you know?

  10. Profile picture
    TARRY  ·  1 year ago  · 

    fucking ass is not the all things of love, just like who you are. nothing need to be changed, maybe one guy who will come to your life and tell you how to answer these questions. good luck

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    MANBOYNYC  ·  1 year ago  · 

    Nearly all good advice. It’s the chemistry & sometimes caring for mutual satisfaction overall that matters most. I’m just not an anal sorta guy – so no fucking ’til I feel safe and secure with someone I care about. Fucking shouldn’t be the ‘goal’ – having a mutually great time should be. ;)

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    GABRIEL  ·  1 year ago  · 

    Relax and let it in. It’s so fucking good when done right.

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        STEVEN  ·  1 year ago

        tell him!

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    ERIK  ·  1 year ago  · 

    Assfucking does not hurt when the Bottom feels totally at ease & relaxed with the Fucker.
    However, being a devoted bottom myself, I prefer medium size penises up my ass. XL dicks may look nice on a photo, but my prostate gets more fun out of an average endowed man.

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    STEVEN  ·  1 year ago  · 

    Is this real?

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        DAN  ·  1 year ago

        Good point.

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        SEVERN  ·  1 year ago

        Thank u Steven

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    GUILHERME  ·  1 year ago  · 

    to me it was only uncomfortable on my very first time. After that it was just easy. Like sliding on a lubed fireman’s pole into a pool of happiness.

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    TODD  ·  1 year ago  · 

    If he’s Clark Gable hot, you should definitely do what he ass…asks.

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    GRAHAM  ·  1 year ago  · 

    Different positions can also help and once you find the one you feel more comfortable with you will find you will enjoy being fucked even more. And yes, Eric (see ERIC’s comment below) is correct, find a lover who is caring and understanding about being the ‘fucker’, this will also enhance the experience. Sucking cock and swallowing a hot load is an act I enjoy more than being fucked. Again, TED (see below) is also correct, “…penetration must not be the goal at all, its the overall lovemaking what matters and that has to do with complete trust”. Once emotional and mental trust is established and continuing to be built with your lover, you will also find that being fucked is easier.

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        ZACHARY  ·  1 year ago

        thank you! thats an awesome comment, totally lost faith men like you existed, cheers x

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    TED  ·  1 year ago  · 

    It all depends who you are with.
    when it is somebody who want to share it isnt a problem at all in case of normal sizes ( xxl ones can be painful indeed). but penetration must not be the goal at all, its the overall lovemaking what matters and that has to do with complete trust. It all starts also with being clean, so take a shower before, and in the same time you can clean yourself inside take of the shower head and put the hose on your butt. you will find out it will loosen up and slowly you can put it in to clean. it takes some practice but do it 3 times and it is a skill

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    ERIC  ·  1 year ago  · 

    Getting pleasure from getting fucked comes naturally to some guys and to others (like me) it’s a learning process. It helps if you can push out like you’re taking a shit. So, fool around with some enemas and dildoe’s. It can get so good you might cum just from getting fucked.

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        K3LV!N  ·  1 year ago

        I never get fucked until cum, is that mean the top isn’t skillful or I wasn’t enjoying it?

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        ERIC  ·  1 year ago

        It may be a combination of things. I think if you are getting pleasure from getting fucked follow your intuition and see if it makes a difference, and try not to force anything. Relax and enjoy.

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    RICHARD  ·  1 year ago  · 

    Personally, I find the act of sucking/worshipping cock and eating another man’s load totally HOT. So not having anal action isn’t a deal breaker for me.

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    PABLO  ·  1 year ago  · 

    i learn so much this night. xoxo

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    KEVIN  ·  1 year ago  · 

    You may need to see a Dr. to check if you have a fissure which is causing the pain. Anal sex can cause and worsen a fissure. Anal sex doesn’t have to be painful-sure it can be a little uncomfortable but severe pain is often a sign of a tear.

  23. Profile picture
    GIBRAN  ·  1 year ago  · 

    Just relax and enjoy the ride! Anal sex is wonderful!

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    GABRIEL  ·  1 year ago  · 

    Er, I actually don´t like anal sex that much (either way). And considering the anus it is an exit and not an entrance, one can only expect some trouble (it´s, like the Pope say, antinatural); besides, I´m so convinced the act or penetration or being penetrated it is purely psychological (in case you can massage your prostate and get some pleasure from that just try a not so menacing dildo). Dixit.

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    MICHAEL  ·  1 year ago  · 

    Destinee Hooker, American Olympic volleyball player, would disagree with you that your name sounds like a whore’s… I think.

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        DESTINY  ·  1 year ago

        his last name is Hooker? Anyways, this is not my real name. I can do worse. :P

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        MICHAEL  ·  1 year ago

        her* name

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    ALEX  ·  1 year ago  · 

    I think its worth pointing out that the sensation of a dick pumping in and out of your ass can be similar to the feeling of taking a shit, even if your ass is clean. It took me a while to get used to this and not freak out about it myself. As others have said, practice makes perfect. Relax, use plenty of lube, and try to find a friendly dildo or a caring top.

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    JAVIER  ·  1 year ago  · 

    If you have trouble with poop on your dick’s partner, please buy Fleet, is a good way to clean your ass before fucking and lubrication is the key word in this story.

  28. Profile picture
    RALPH  ·  1 year ago  · 

    also – learn to clean out up in there.

  29. Profile picture
    TED  ·  1 year ago  · 

    Yes, your name sounds like a hooker.

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    ERIC  ·  1 year ago  · 

    I disagree with this whole “practice practice” thing. I think it’s more about the top being able to make the bottom relax down there and ease into it. Taking your time to stimulate and helping him open up will make it less painful if not painless.

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        DESTINY  ·  1 year ago

        ya,totally!